Recently, I was asked to do an interview about relationships in the LGBT community. I thought that this interview would be right up my alley, since I enjoy talking about subjects concerning the community. So I interviewed the Founder and Overall Father of the House of Tsunami, Tremain Tsunami. Here is some background: Tremain founded the house in 2004 in order to focus on outreach and awareness in the community. I was even presented with their mission statement. The House of Tsunami has many values that are based on helping the community, unity, and empowerment. So without any further ado, here is the interview with Overall Father Tremain Tsunami.
Me: So first, what do you think are five key components of being in a homosexual relationship?
Tremain: The first - to understand what a monogamous relationship is:
- a contract between two people who agree to a commitment to one another.
- discuss the standards and requirements to make you happy as an individual.
- strong communication about every part of your life that will cause change to your contract of commitment.
- understanding hurt and pain so the feeling of passion and happiness is received and given as a blessing.
- have a life as an individual and be willing to share it.
Me: Very insightful! Roles seem to play a major role in homosexual relationships. Do you think worrying about identifying yourself as Top, Bottom, or Verse is a stint in building a relationship in our community?
Tremain: Yes, I believe so, because in this community we focus on and drive by labels - if the relationship does not have one, then a large percentage of us get lost and unwilling to engage.
Me: Exactly! Most of us are so worried about who is what, that it might end up cutting a connection that could have benefited us. Next, do you believe it is possible in this era of homosexuality to be in a long term monogamous relationship?
Tremain: I would like to believe so, because the amount of homosexual individuals in this community who hunger for love in any form they can get it, why would they not want to commit? But as social media continues to educate me, I'm starting to believe that monogamous relations are in great danger of being extinct.
Me: Great answer! I guess we’ll see what happens once time starts to elapse. Speaking of social media, due to the advancement of internet social sites, social media is one of the leading ways to connect people on a global scale. Is it possible to build a relationship using these sites?
Tremain: Yes, it is. The growth of social sites has allowed people to have courage and esteem in their self to approach individuals before a face-to-face interaction, so by the time that happens, the connection has been made and relationship is built.
Me: Personally, I do attempt to use these things, but more and more they seem to become negative in what they present themselves to be. Used for more of a hookup, instead of actual communication. So, about sex - everyone’s favorite subject in the world. How does sex play a part in our community and in our connections and relationships? Does sex have a positive or negative effect on our community?
Tremain: Sex! That word has become iconic in this community. “Sex sells;” “Sex makes my day;” “Sex for breakfast, lunch, and dinner;” “Sex hair;” “Sex fashion;” et cetera - this community has made this act of passion and love between individuals a brand and a career . Sex is not any longer the joy, but the definition of self-worth. Sex has become the devil in our community!
Me: I think you hit the nail in the head about this topic. Sex changes everything. It can make things better or it can make things worse. It all depends on how you play with it like you were explaining. In closing, what advice do you have for those, who are seeking a real relationship but are having a hard time evaluating what they should do to pursue a relationship?
- date yourself (movies, long walks, dinner, meditation and prayer) to understanding your worth.
- let go of your past life of hurt and pain; use it as a guide of "how not to."
- make your life and career path intriguing and sound in order to make it worth sharing.
- be happy in your own skin and content with who you have become, so that you will only look at your relationship as additional happiness, not as your world.
- last but not least, determine your definition of love and don't ever confuse it with lust.
Me: That’s the icing on the cake right there! Well, I thank you for giving me the opportunity to interview you on such a very touching subject. It was great!
Tremain: I've wanted to address that for some time now and I'm glad it's done. That makes me happy.
Me: Well I’m glad I could help to make it come true.
Tremain: Yup, you sure did. I can't wait and thanks again!
Me: You’re very welcome. Thank you!
I hope this interview helps someone out there. All of us need love and we want someone, who is going to stand by us and support us. For those who are losing hope, remember that love is out there for you. Most importantly, love yourself and love others.